'08

I was just telling my like-minded friends at work yesterday, how torn I am about the prospects in '08. One speaks to my heart, and one to my head.

Then one does something like this which is so fun, plus... Bill!

I know it's all over the place this morning, but for a political person and a Sopranos fan, it's pretty cute: www.hillaryclinton.com Click on the video. Enjoy.

'08

1 Year

A year ago today I was tired of being pregnant, excited to find out if my baby was a boy or a girl, nervous about how E was going to handle it all... I'm going to cry a lot today, tomorrow, the next day. Happy Birthday Margaret. Your mommy loves you very much.

My Song of the Summer is...

Maroon Five, Makes me Wonder. It's fun, it's disco-y, it says "fuck" and it's sung by a hot guy.

What's yours?

Links for Friday

My new celebrity love: Maggie Gyllenhal for breastfeeding in public.

Also, in case you hadn't heard, 18% of Texas high school seniors failed the TAKS test and therefore can't graduate. Never mind this means that they can't pass a test of BASIC skills, they're upset that they can't put on a cap and gown and walk across a stage with their friends. Here's an article about it. Check out the protestor's sign. Classic, no?

The San Francisco Treat

So when the husband tells me that his company is sending him to Java One (a "geek-conference") in San Francisco, and asks if I would like to go spend our first weekend alone together after the second kid, I answered "HELL YES." I've always wanted to go to San Fran and if the husband's flight and some other stuff is paid for, there's nothing to debate.

While he spent Thursday and Friday at the Geek Conference (I attended the Thursday night "java bash" disguised as a coworker named Dimitri and there I publicly accused the husband of sexually harassing me. It was very amusing at the time), I shopped. A LOT. Then Saturday and Sunday we got to do the touristy thing.

Here are some pictures! Enjoy!

Feminist Monday

A few articles that I found interesting...

Michelle Obama quits her job to do the expected thing. Sorry - I think she's a very attractive woman, but that picture makes her look like a Jedi knight.

The marriage - industrial complex - the modern American wedding and how it's become a monster.

It's Friday!

Here's the latest column. I actually like it, although I realized after I turned it in that I spelled Gayle King's first name wrong, and my editor didn't catch it either. Oh well.

For those of you that tune in from time to time, I apologize for not blogging more frequently. I want to be a good blogger, I do. I just am frequently overwhelmed with how much information I have to share, and overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to do in a day. Typical working mom complaints, yes?

Another thing to take you into the weekend. If you (hypothetically) inadvertently feed a baby a tiny little bit of very very hot salsa, you will feel really really bad when she starts wailing, but you will also be trying not to laugh at the way her face turned red like a cartoon character. So heartbreaking. Hypothetically, of course.

HURRICANE Winds, y'all

Last night was a big storm for us. BIG. DH and I were standing at the windows, watching our trees lean over at a 45 degree angle. One baby tree in the back yard is wired to the fence, so as it bent over, we worried that it would take the fence with it.

But no trees were down this morning, the kids slept through, and we only lost power intermittently, enough to make my husband cuss repeatedly at the computer, and me just to give up on watching Lost.

Driving through our neighborhood this morning, everything looked normal, until I crossed town and went into the neighborhood where our daycare is. Every single tree had branches down, stop signs were uprooted. I saw fire men standing outside of the firehouse, looking at the roof that had been blown off. When we pulled into the daycare, the playground that E plays on has trees uprooted, and suncovers pulled off the covered areas. E said, "My playground! Broken!" Apparently we are lucky the daycare was open, as the whole section of town behind it still didn't have power.

One of the bitches was in a bathroom last night when the tornado sirens went off. One had a tree fall on her house. I think Mrs. DallasK and I live on the calm side of town.

Something fun for Friday

I want a pair of Eleanor Grosch Keds. Because they look cute and comfortable. Because the designer is really hip and cool and therefore I will be too, if I wear them. Because I want to support hip and cool and talented women named Eleanor.

I was going to wait until they went on sale, but I'm a bit paranoid that by the time they do, they will be sold out. So.... Which pair do y'all like best?







Thanks!

On Stopping Crazy Homicidal Maniacs

Even though I am currently mulling over ways to revamp this blog (to make it less “smart”, to include fewer “links”, to write more “often”), I am going to write another post that no one wants to read.

If you’ve talked to me IRL, you may have heard me rant about this already but here goes the electronic version.

Virginia Tech. 33 Dead. Crazy person w/ a gun. What went wrong / what should have been done / what could make schools safer?

Not much. A crazy homicidal maniac won’t care too much if he breaks a law when he obtains a firearm. Yes, it may make it harder, but guns, like drugs and abortions, will always be available to desperate people with cash.

We can close campuses, but we can’t close campuses to um... students, which above referenced crazy homicidal maniac was.

We can get police some turbo packs so they can fly really fast to the scene of a crime but see above: crazy homicidal maniac with gun. Oh, and chains to chain doors together.

See my point? Crazy people will do something crazy if they have their mind set to do it. So we have to stop the crazy.

I’m not in any sort of counseling / psychiatric / pastoral field. I’m sure people who are will have lots of insight and wisdom and advice on how to address potential craziness in people.

But I am a lawyer, and I know *something* about laws. Here in Texas, where I am licensed, we have some laws to prevent child abuse. One law is, if you are someone who works with a child (teacher, social worker, day care teacher, etc.) and you have a good faith reasonable belief that the child is or has been abused you have 24 hours to report that to authorities. If you do so, you are immune from civil liability, meaning a parent can’t sue you for making a false claim. If you do not, you are not only immune to civil liability, but you are subject to criminal liability for failing to protect a child. Anybody else in Texas also has civil immunity if you have a good faith, reasonable belief that a child is being abused, and you report it to authorities.

Maybe it’s because I’m a lawyer, but with this Cho guy, I’m hearing a lot of people who saw the warning signs, even administrators at VT, but for whatever reason, their hands were tied, or they were scared to do something.

We need similar laws to the child abuse reporting statutes, for potential school violence. Not only do we need to give civil immunity to those who report potential crazy homicidal maniacs to police, but we need to MANDATE school administrators to do so.

I’m still not sure the Chos of this world can be stopped, but we need to give ourselves the opportunity to do so.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a bad day. I started off depressed by the Virginia Tech massacre. Then I went to a college campus for work, and had to talk about Virginia Tech and its implications for all colleges. The woman I talked to then mentioned that she had lost her husband in the Oklahoma City bombing, and her son the year before, so "this kind of thing" affected her more. I almost started crying right then and there. Our computers and phones were all messed up at work, the parking garage attendant asked me if I was pregnant with my first baby.... Grrr.

I picked up the kids a little early to spend time with them before going over to Mrs. Dallas K's for a little shindig to celebrate MommyMe's first day of her new job. When I went over, the day turned around completely....

they surprised me with an early birthday surprise party! I got a card, and presents, and cake, and lots of yummy totally diet-friendly food, and of course, my bitches. I even got to see Cop's Wife, who has been too busy with mothering and working and getting a MASTERS' degree to see any of us lately. And Football Widow had such a good time, I felt like I was drunk while talking to her.

Thanks my bitches! Y'all helped make my 30th year so special, I can't wait to spend my 31st getting into more trouble with you!

Pics at Mrs. Dallas K's, as usual.

Odds

Conversation at my house yesterday upon our first viewing of a Veggie Tales episode:
Me: They have no arms!
Jeff: Sara, They're vegetables.
Me: Well, they talk, don't they?

Other exclamation at my house yesterday: Holy shit, I ran a 5K! It's all due to Football Widow, MommyMe, and Mrs. DallasK. They told me to run ("train") and made sure I registered and didn't buy my crap about me wanting to make sure my leg wasn't broken and all. Thanks gals! I'm hurting in weird places today, but I feel so great about beating my goal time by 4 minutes! Yay me! Pics at Mrs. DallasK's, as usual.

This month's contribution to the printed word found here.

He Who Shall Not Be Named

See this guy?

I will not speak his name, but we all know who he is and what he has done. He has disappointed children, and dashed the dreams of young and old.

Karma is a bitch.

Good times

Every day when we leave day care, I let E pick up two or three packs of crackers for the ride home. Yesterday, she gave me one and as I was holding it, M grabbed it from me and started gnawing on it. I tried taking it away from her, but she pouted, and I caved, since I had made her cry when I first walked in yesterday. (I was at the front desk signing the kids out, and she happened to see me from her room. Literally, there’s one spot where she could sit and see me, and she was there. I heard a kid crying quite loudly, and I thought, “my, that’s one pissed off baby…. That kinda sounds like mine.” I turned around and there she was, crying that she could see her mama and her mama wasn’t coming to get her. It broke my heart. Therefore… crackers.) So E got to get two more crackers.

We’re in the car, and E has finished her crackers and gets all pouty about something, and starts kicking my seat. I say, “look at that temper tantrum right there!” And she says, “I wanna see!”

“What?” I ask.
“I wanna see temper tan!”
“You want to see a temper tantrum?”
“Yes!”
“Right there! You’re the temper tantrum!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I WANNA SEE TEMPER TAN!”

It was pretty funny, and nothing I could do could convince her that a temper tantrum wasn’t something really cool outside of the car that she was missing.

She calmed down a little, and saw M still gnawing on the pack of Club crackers (yes I’m a horrible mother for letting her do that, I know). “I want Aggie crackers.” (E calls M “aggie”)
“You want Maggie’s crackers?” I ask.
“Yes.”
”No, baby, you had your crackers, those are Maggie’s crackers.”
“I want to share.” She pouted.

So freakin’ cute. She gets sharing! Kinda.

Wired Wednesday

Once again, I’m all over the place this morning.

1) General Pace. WTF were you thinking? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You can (and should) have your own religious beliefs. BUT. You are a SECULAR leader, not only to the military, but to our nation. You cannot call an entire portion of our society “immoral.” I know conservatives decry political correctness, but there is a reason for it. It’s also called common courtesy, showing respect, not trying to tick people off for stupid reasons. You and I agree on one very large thing: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is an idiotic program. But in 2007, the military’s got some larger problems on its hands right? Women are getting raped, harassed and beaten in the military, never mind what’s happening to Iraqis, Afghans and detainees. What two consenting adults do off the job is no one’s business, and should not even be on your radar right now. Take care of some of these other items, then we’ll let you tell Americans what is “immoral.”

2) It’s Spring Break. Parents and tourists, do NOT ride the light rail during rush hour, or I will hate you and give you and your croc-wearing, denim short-sporting, Teddy Graham-eating self the evil eye. People use the rail to get back and forth from WORK. We value our quiet time. We do not want to hear your children asking “how many more stops until we get home?” And, “What’s the stop where we get off?” for the 100th time. I don’t want to hear your theories on the “inner city” and how “they should do something about that old building [Dallas High School].” I REALLY don’t want to hear you tell your preteen son (who’s old enough to stand up and let someone take his seat, BTW) how smart he is every time he COUNTS the number of stops on the train map.

I'm back with a new friend

I’d like to introduce you to my new best fantasy-friend, Mindy. (There's also a link over there to Things that I've Bought that I Love.)

Most of you know that my old best fantasy friend is Tim Gunn from Project Runway. And I still love him, but while I totally want to have coffee with him everyday and discuss all sorts of things, he will never, in spite of his orientation, be a true girlfriend.

That’s where Mindy Ephron/Kaling comes in. I discovered her blog a few months ago, and now between that and her acting/ writing on The Office, I think she may be my new best fantasy-friend, taking over from the illustrious line of Isaac Mizrahi, Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Gunn. (Yes, there’s a pattern there, and it’s not a good interview and a love of a well-cut jacket. I may be breaking the pattern with Mindy, but maybe she’s just a closet case like in all those blind items. Whatever, I don’t care.) Everyone knows that the basis of a truly meaningful, deep friendship is a shared interest in superficial things. Mindy’s blog makes me laugh and makes me want to shop and write about things I love, and I know that during my next shopping trip I will be having a deep, thoroughly superficial, thoroughly imagined girl-chat with her.

Right now, she won't take my comments. Is that the fantasy world equivalent of not taking my calls?

All over the place

Back to the princess phenomenon: See how I'm not the only parent to resist, and how totally commercial, contrived and evil it is? And how parents will have to eventually justify the tiaras as some sort of post-feminist reclamation of grrrl power? Oy vey.

Here's my latest in the paper. I'm not all that proud of this one, but whatever. It's published. It's got my name on it. I better get proud.

Many of you that are on Google Talk have seen my away/here message and asked about it. Yes, someone ate my burrito. And yogurt. And healthy choice frozen dinner. There's someone at work that steals food. They've stolen food from me before in my 3 years here, but never this much, all together. I alternate between being royally ticked off to just feeling kind of sad that not only has someone stooped to this level, but that I have to work with that kind of person. Plus, Mrs. Dallas K told me a story about someone who purposefully set out to steal the food from an officemate who they didn't like, just to f#ck with them, so I'm trying not to get paranoid about that.

Y'all gon' make me lose my mind

Ok, first of all, what’s up with me not getting carded… twice yesterday?

I bought wine yesterday at two separate stores and there was NO request to see my identification. WTH.

And if the “buying wine” item isn’t enough to tell you that I’m ready for my husband to come home, here’s another clue.

I was telling Football Widow last night that I suspected my brain had stopped working, and I needed another adult around the house. For instance, I could not come up with something for dinner last night. Nothing sounded good to me, and though it was tempting to let E have an all-cracker meal last night, as she suggested, I literally stood in front of the fridge, waiting for inspiration. Finally, I came up with eggs and toast (brilliant) but it took me way too long to think of that. I suspected something was amiss with my brain.

This morning, I was got E and M dressed, putting great effort into keeping everyone happy and moving along. I got everyone dressed, fed, downstairs, got the dog out, got my shoes on, got the bottles in the bag and was taking M out to the car when E said, “I go poo poo mommy.”

“Oh, really? Really? Um, can you hold it until you get to school? NO! I mean, don’t hold it, hold it. Just, wait, ok?”

I’m still on my one track mind, and I get M out to the car and strap her in. I come back to get E and she says, “I need go potty poo poo NOW mommy.”

Remembering that she’s been making significant progress on this front, I decide that I really can’t ignore this quite clear and quite insistent request. I run out, and put the garage door down and lights on in the garage so M doesn’t freak out, then come back in and quickly take E to her potty.

As soon as I start unbuttoning her pants, I notice something.

She doesn’t have a diaper on.

“E! Mommy didn’t put a diaper on you this morning?” “No diaper mommy.” “Ok, well you sit down on the potty while mommy runs upstairs to get your diaper.”

I run upstairs in my heels, and find E’s diaper, where I left it on her bed this morning. I have no idea what happened. I have put a diaper on that child every morning for the past 2+ years. This morning? I lost my mind.

I run back downstairs (in heels) and into the bathroom, terribly cognizant of the time clicking and M sitting by herself in the car. I bend down, E says, “No poo poo mommy.” Damn. All that and no poo poo. I start to take off her pants to put the diaper on, and I realized a second thing. Her pants are sopping wet. I tell her I’m going back upstairs to get new pants for her, and tell her to try again with the poo poo (we need something positive out of this situation, right?)

I run back upstairs (slipping off the heels) and get some new pants. Back down, changing the kid in a Guinness-worthy moment, jumping (literally) back into the heels, telling E to “run run run!” out the door to the car.

I’m tired just typing it all again.

So yes, I need, no, deserve wine. And my husband comes home on Saturday. Expect my brain to start working sometime after that.

weekend update

So I could write about how E put herself into time-out on Saturday after sitting on her sister's head. (I yanked her off, yelled something like, "WE do NOT sit on the baby's head!" Then she put her head down and said, "Time out" and headed to the time out corner. Then I said, "No, MOMMY puts you into time out, not E. (pause) Go to time out!")

I could write about how M now pulls herself into a sitting position from laying down, and how she's *almost* crawling. Or how she talked our ears off this weekend. Bah bah bah bah bah bAH!

I could write about how E thinks Daddy's bringing home an elephant from India.... and I may, but right now I want to write about the three (yes, THREE) movies I saw on Saturday night.

We (Mom and Dad came for the weekend to help w/ the kids) started with For Your Consideration. I usually heart Christopher Guest's movies, and of course I will recommend this one to anyone, but it's not his finest work. Maybe I'm just not a Hollywood insider to get the jokes, but I don't frequent dog shows and I got the jokes in Best in Show. (Which I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend)

Then we moved onto Jesus Camp. My mom cried. I got angry, and I laughed at Ted Haggard. Seriously. It was a scary show.

Dad went to bed, and mom and I decided to push through the night with one more: Shut up and Sing about the Dixie Chicks. These were two very interesting movies to watch back to back since they are both about the "culture wars," if you will (hate that term, but too early to think of a better description.) My mom, who cried about what was done to the children at the Jesus Camp, and who naively wondered aloud, "I wonder if the Bushes know about these people" still carries a sizeable animosity against Natalie Maines, and the movie did not change her mind.

Me? I love the Dixie Chicks. In 2003 I was annoyed with Natalie for the way she handled the situation, but I love how they came back. I love that they are strong, talented, smart, opinionated women who have put their families and careers first. The movie doesn't always paint them in the best light, but I still heart them and wish I had been able to go to their show. I'm probably going to watch it again this week.